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enlightenment
August 2009 
i love you
uncompromise
The love that we usually speak of, the I love you kind of love, is not usually love at all. It is usually just a form of control. If I love you is held to be true, then I don't love you can equally be held to be true.
Yet both of these statements are predicated on the existence of the I who is loving. As with most things spoken, the focus turns to the words themselves, instead of the speaker. I love you is usually false because it is assumed there is both an I to be loving and a you to be loved.
Yet where do you end and I begin?
I love you is not usually a clear expression of what words cannot contain. It is not usually saying I am the love of you.
The reason we usually say I love you is because of a desire to control the listener - to make them happy , to draw them to us, hold them to us, to get them to return to us.
It's not conscious - at least not most of the time.
It's just confused.
It's a socially acceptable form of projection.
It's an unconscious contract to manipulate each other until we are no longer getting what we want, at which time we are free to say I don't love you anymore or I don't love you like that anymore.
But does love stop just because I say so?
Love will not accept any of the limitations we seek to impose upon it, and will break us apart again and again, ploughing mercilessly through every barrier we erect against its passing.
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cool blog. Yes I love you is false - an illusion. Thanks!
My lama never says “I love you” - at least not to me. He will say that I am his favorite student (which is mind-numbing to me) or that I am like a part of his family to him, but never “I love you.”
I’ve never asked him why, but I’m guessing it is that he is avoiding the trigger of all the associations people have been conditioned to place upon those words. He does love me, and yet, he is me. I am him. And we both know it.
We play games with certain twists of reality (how could I even be his favorite student without a game being played in which he is the teacher and I am the student?), but this one we never play. We never dare venture into a territory where we affirm one another’s value as something lovable by creating a separation then declaring that we wish there was no separation – which I believe is what those words are supposed to convey.
“I love you” meaning “I wish I could consume you.” I love you like chocolate. I love you like pizza. I love you like all the things I’ve ever wished to possess and merge with so that I can forget my isolation and deny my aggression. I love you as the hope of escape from the agony of isolation, as the hope for affirmation that I exist as a separate entity that is more lovable in comparison with all other separate entities.
Okay, so I don’t love you then. How about this transition from relative to absolute truth: I am love. You are love. We are love. Love is, and that is all.
Let us enjoy this moment of acknowledging what is. Let us share this moment of recognition together. Ahhhh.